Adore
by wingsofcosmos
Summary: Five times Sirius Black didn't have the bravery to ask Remus Lupin out on a date, and one time he did. Oneshot.


**This is the first fic I've written for this particular fandom, so please be gentle! Enjoy!**

* * *

"Just ask him, there's nothing better than being straightforward," James suggested as he leant forward on the table, arms crossed.

It was morning in the Great Hall, and people were still filing in, most still feeling half-asleep. Sirius, already feeling wide awake unlike the majority of the occupants in the Hall, idly picked at his breakfast with a fork, listening to James with his full attention, but feeling his advice might all be for naught.

With him, of course, was James—Sirius' brother, platonic soulmate, light of his life—and Peter—fellow Marauder, man who knew too many secrets, an all-around decent guy—however, the fourth and final Marauder, Remus, was not with them, and James took that opportunity to encourage Sirius to ask him out.

"Yeah, like I can get away with that," Sirius retorted dryly, and popped his chin atop his hand. "I'm not as _straight_ forward as you think, Prongs."

Sirius grinned as James snorted.

"And you're not as clever as you think you are, mate," James said, and returned Sirius' grin.

"Psst, guys, he's coming this way," Peter whispered to the two of them from across the table and caused their heads to turn towards the direction of the entrance.

Remus looked better than he did a couple of days before when he was recovering from the full moon, but still seemed tired and worn-out. Despite so, Sirius' heartbeat went progressively faster as soon as his eyes landed on Remus. Merlin, he was smitten. Besotted, even.

As Remus sat down next to Peter and in front of Sirius, James quickly nudged Sirius in the side, signalling towards Remus' direction.

"Uh, Moony," Sirius began, and hated himself just a little for sounding so awkward.

"Hm?" Remus looked up from his plate of food, a single eyebrow raised.

Sirius can feel the heavy, expectant gaze James sent his way, and just realised he's actually doing this. Wow.

"Next Hogsmead weekend," Sirius paused, and told himself it was for added dramatic effect, and not because of his own nervousness, no way. "We're still going to Zonko's, right? I need to get more dungbombs."

Not only was Sirius disappointed, but he felt James' shoulders sag and heard Peter let out a sigh.

"Uh, yeah, I'm pretty sure we're going. Like every other trip to Hogsmead we've had," Remus replied, eyebrow still raised, and Sirius hoped that Remus didn't suspect anything. "Are you feeling alright, Padfoot?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine." What a total and utter failure.

* * *

Merely a day later, Sirius had practically forgotten the happenings of the previous morning. (Except, not really. The events keep playing over and over again in the back of his head like some sort of broken television. And, yes, he knew what a television was, he took Muggle Studies.)

It was a couple of hours until his next class, on his way to the library because he knew Remus would be there.

He was by himself as he walked; James was off with Peter preparing for a prank for later that night during dinner. And James, wonderful James, was unperturbed by the events of the day before, and kept encouraging Sirius on his quest on asking Remus out on a date even still.

Ah, bless him.

When Sirius entered the library, he immediately headed for Remus' usual corner, which was as always lit up by the shine of the sun from the window next to the desk. And slouched over the desk, as always, was Remus, brows furrowed in concentration over his work.

"Hey, Moony," Sirius greeted with a grin, and lazily leant on the side of the desk with his arms folded. "Watcha' doing?"

"Oh, Sirius," Remus replied, as he put down his quill and sat up to look at Sirius. "I'm just working on my Transfiguration essay. What are you doing here?"

The sunlight from the window glowed on Remus' face, and Sirius had to use all his willpower to suppress a blush. He shifted slightly.

"Well, I was wondering," Sirius began, and his heart was beating a little too hard for his liking. "If… if you would help me with my charms essay? I need a bit of help on it."

Dammit, really? And Sirius called himself a Gryffindor.

"Well, sure, I really doubt that you need any help at all, you're great at charms," Remus said with a small smile, and Sirius couldn't hold back his blush this time. "But, yeah, I'll help you out."

"Thanks, Moony," Sirius said, grinning.

"No problem, Padfoot." Ah, Merlin help him, this was going to take a while.

* * *

Three days later, Sirius was relaxing on his bed, arms tucked beneath his head, staring at the ceiling. The other three were doing their own thing in the dorm room, but Sirius was too busy focusing on himself to care.

The last two times trying to ask Remus out were a failure, and, really, Sirius only had himself to blame. Of course, there were other ways to try that didn't involve going up to Remus and asking, but Sirius thought that might not end up that well.

And so, here he was, thinking that now might be a good time to go ask, but instead of doing just that, Sirius was procrastinating on his bed.

Sirius turned his head towards Remus' direction, who was sitting up on his bed reading a book which Sirius was sure was some sort of Muggle literature. He knew Remus loved that stuff. And Sirius could, of course, appreciate how good Remus looked in that sweater.

And, wow, he was blushing again.

Then, Sirius thought, that he should really go up to him and ask. Third time's the charm, right?

Ha, _charm_.

As he got off his bed, Sirius quickly headed for Remus' bed, which was right next to his, and jumped down to sit on it.

"Moony," Sirius said as he crossed his legs in front of him, smiling.

Remus didn't look up from his book, but made a sound acknowledging that he was listening.

"Well," Sirius drawled out. He could see from his peripheral that James sat up and Peter looked up from the Marauder's Map, and for some reason that put more stress on him than encouragement.

"Sirius," Remus said as he looked up from his book. "Was there something you wanted?"

It was then Sirius froze, because apparently he couldn't do one of the simplest of things in the world. 'Will you go out with me?' Just six words, simple.

"Uh," Sirius mumbled. "You've got something in your teeth."

"Ugh, for god's sake, really?" Remus grumbled as he got up to go to the bathroom.

Sirius sighed in frustration as he slumped over to his own bed, collapsing on top of it with a groan.

On his own bed, James was groaning into his own pillow, ignoring Peter's words of reassurance. James loved his brother, he really did, but he was just tired.

When Remus left the bathroom after checking his teeth in the mirror, he saw James in his current state.

"Are you okay, James? Did Lily hex you again?"

The groaning got louder.

* * *

Ah, pranking. A wonderful activity to partake in and amazing to do so with your closest friends.

What's not so wonderful is being stuck in a closet with the object of your affections who you can't even ask out on a date.

So, Sirius was just a little bit frustrated, but he had to admit, the situation was quite ironic. But, honestly, having both him and Remus up against each other in such a tight space wasn't doing him any favours.

But they had to stay there until they knew Filch and his damn cat were gone.

"You okay there, Moony?" Sirius whispered, trying to get into a comfortable position. He was glad the darkness of the closet hid his blush.

"Yes, just peachy," Remus replied dryly, and then sighed. "Hopefully we'll get out of here soon."

"Yeah," Sirius murmured. He was trying really hard not to picture Remus doing all sorts of things to him in this closet, so, so hard. "Hopefully."

Sirius did not know how much time was passing while they were in the closet in silence, too busy trying to get comfortable quietly. But the silence was not awkward, it never was between them, it was more of a comfortable silence that was, honestly, quite relaxing, even in these circumstances.

"Moony?" Sirius whispered.

"Yes, Padfoot?" Remus replied.

"I—" The atmosphere suddenly felt heavy for Sirius, almost so that you can cut it with a knife. Was he really going to do this, right here? Sirius looked down. "It's nothing, don't worry about it."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure." Sirius clenched his fist, the crushing feeling of disappointment filling his heart.

* * *

Sirius dropped his head over his crossed arms. He didn't react to James' reassuring hand on his back, but appreciated it nonetheless.

They were in the Great Hall, students buzzing about, gossiping to one another. Sirius would have loved to be that joyful right now, but he honestly felt incredibly lethargic.

He heard a sigh not too far away from him, but didn't acknowledge it until his name was called.

"Black."

Sirius looked up to see Lily Evans sitting in front of him.

"Evans," Sirius greeted without much enthusiasm.

"You're acting like such a downer, what happened to your ever cheerful disposition?" Lily asked dryly.

Sirius groaned and planted his face into his arms once more.

"Don't mind him, he's going through some stuff right now," James said, and patted Sirius lightly on the back.

Lily snorted. "Seems like it. Remus tells me you've been acting weird lately."

Sirius groaned once again.

"Look, Black—Sirius," Lily began, and Sirius looked up. "I don't like you that much, but Remus is my friend, and I want him to be happy. And if that's with you, well, I won't complain." She paused. "Actually, I will, but I won't say anything against you two being together."

"What are you trying to say?" Sirius questioned, just slightly suspicious.

"Why do you have to makes things difficult?" Lily sighed. "What I'm trying to say is that Remus has feelings for you as well, and that you should ask him out."

"What, really?" Sirius asked disbelievingly, but hope swelled in his chest.

"Yes, really, but I don't think you'll be able to if act like an idiot and give up when you're about to do it," Lily said, and her gaze went towards the entrance of the Great Hall, a smirk quickly stretched her lips. "Oh, here he comes now, see you later."

Sirius looked towards the entrance of the Great Hall, and saw Remus walking towards them. He kept his gaze even when Remus sat in front of him, taking Lily's previous seat. He didn't notice he was staring until Remus spoke to him.

"Uh, Padfoot, you okay there?" Remus asked, worry in his eyes.

Sirius jumped in his seat, his eyes wide. "Uh, yeah. Yeah, I'm okay."

"You sure?" Remus pushed.

"Yeah."

Sirius considered Lily's words she had spoken earlier. If she was telling the truth—which she probably was, given that she wouldn't lie about something like this—then he should at least ask Remus. After all, according to Lily, Remus had feelings for him as well, so there was absolutely no way that Remus would reject him.

But at this time, Sirius didn't feel all that brave.

His head was in his crossed arms once more, and missed the disappointed expression on Remus' face.

* * *

"Padfoot!" Sirius felt a hand on his arm pulling him aside as he was walking through a random, isolated corridor. Turning around, he saw James with a serious expression on his face.

"Prongs?" Sirius asked slowly.

"We need to talk," James said, and Sirius gave him a look, signalling him to keep going. James sighed. "Look, Padfoot, you're my brother, and I love you, but I really don't like seeing you like this."

"Like what?" Sirius questioned.

"You look so unhappy Sirius, and don't tell me you're not because I know you. I just don't understand what's keeping you from telling him," James said.

"I-I don't know," Sirius said, looking down. "I just feel like I'm dreaming, you know? Like this is not real, and Moony really doesn't like me that way."

"Padfoot, don't be offended, but you're an idiot," James said, ignoring Sirius' offended expression. "There is literally nothing that can go wrong if you ask him. Just go and be happy, and do all that sweet couple-y stuff that couples do."

"Really?" Sirius inquired.

"What, are you a Gryffindor or not? What would mum say?" James asked.

"Your mother or my mother?" Sirius asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Our mother! And you know what? She'll say something lovey-dovey, maybe recite some poetry and tell you to follow your heart," James said, smiling. "I want you to be happy, Sirius. And be happy, with Remus."

"James," Sirius murmured, and brought James into an embrace. "Thank you. That was really bloody cheesy, but thank you."

"Ah, no worries," James said, grinning. "I just had to give you a metaphorical kick on the arse to actually get you to do something. And if I had to do it through an inspirational speech and calling you an idiot, well so be it."

They separated, and Sirius grinned. "I have to go."

"Good luck, you mangy dog!"

Sirius ran to the only place he know Remus would be at this time of day; the library. He found Remus in his usual spot, and called for him.

"Moony! Remus!"

Remus turned to Sirius with wide eyes. "Sirius, we're in a library, calm down."

"But, Moony, I have something really important to say to you," Sirius said, his eyes bright.

"Sirius?" Remus questioned softly.

"Remus," Sirius began. "I really like you, will you go out with me?" And wasn't this the most cliché thing he ever did? Apparently so, because Remus voice this very thought.

"Wow, this is so cliché," Remus said with a grin.

"Moony," Sirius whined.

"Sorry, Padfoot," Remus apologised. "But, yes, Sirius, I will go out with you. And I have to say, you took your bloody time."

"Well, sorry for being nervous in confessing my ever-growing feelings for you," Sirius said dramatically, but was grinning at Remus nonetheless.

Maybe this was a bit cliché, but, honestly, Sirius didn't really much care. Yes, at some point he felt that this all wasn't real, but as James said, he needed that kick.

And in the end, everyone was happy, so Sirius really shouldn't complain.

"I guess it must've been really awkward in that closet, huh? Being that close."

"Oh, Merlin, yeah. Definitely."

"Probably gave you a hard on."

"Moony!"


End file.
